A woman ran into her house and shouted, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery.""That's great!" he replied. "Should I pack for the ocean or for the mountains?""I don't care," she said. "Just get the hell out.
Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
Women were born without a sense of humor, so they could love men and not laugh at them.
Woman to couple at a party: "So what have you been doing with yourselves now that the kids are in college?"Wife: "Well, we did find we had a lot more time on our hands."Husband: "So we've been spending all of it on our divorce."
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
You were meant for me, perhaps as a punishment.
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