For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
I think - therefore I'm single.
I never married because there was no need. I have 3 pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
My wife ran off with my best friend and I really miss him.
Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to!
Statistics show that married men live longer than single men, but they are more willing to die.
I was married by a Judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Marriage, the leading cause of divorce.
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