Couples Humor
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
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On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere.
Written just below it "I do not."
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He said - Should we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
*~*~*~*~*
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
*~*~*~*~*
A couple who's been married for over 20 years were having a fight in the car during a trip for a holiday.
After arguing for a moment, they decided to quit talking and silence ruled.
Then after a few minutes, they passed some pigs in a farm, all making horrible noises. The wife looks at her husband and gives a sinister grin and says, "Relatives of yours?"
The husband replied "Yep, in-laws
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