Thursday, February 12, 2009

Free Laugh - Personal Ads

Single, attractive, successful, self-absorbed woman, 34, seeks to save money by spending yours. POB 27.

Male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53.

Woman, 28, works behind falafel counter in pizza shop, looking for man with sense of humus. POB 789.

Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can get get. Get it? I'll show you mine if you show me yours. POB 72.

Attractive woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house. POB 843.

Businessman, 49, manufactures candles, seeks non-smoker. POB 787.

Looking for a great husband? "Mr. Dependable," always there for you. A faithful companion at all times. Your salvation in any emergency. No Saturday or Holiday calls, please. POB 92.

Agnostic dyslexic insomniac male, seeks similar female to stay up all night to discuss whether or not there really is a DOG. POB 83.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman. POB 43.

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB 74.

I enjoy long walks, candlelight dinners, sailing, travel to Europe, and I think this ad should be in New York Magazine instead. Sorry.

I've had it all: herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and four of the ten plagues. Now I'm ready to settle down. So where are all the nice men hiding? POB 68.

Nice guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality. POB 78.

Staunch feminist, seeking male who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it. POB 435.

Professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555.

SFDJMBA-Do I have to spell out everything for you? POB 333.

I am a sensitive male whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86.
Single woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp. POB 76.

F u cn rd ths, u r stndg too cls. POB 44.

All my friends are doing it, and quite frankly, I feel left out. Woman, 37, never married. Seeks divorce. POB 655.

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