The woman's guide to what a man is really saying . . .
"I'm hungry." I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy." I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired." I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
"What's wrong?" What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." Do you want to have sex?
"I love you." Let's have sex now.
"I love you, too." Okay, I said it . . . we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." I am gay.
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