Saturday, September 4, 2010

Free Laugh - You Know Your From New Jersey...


You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
You know what a "jug handle" is.
You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."
You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.
You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
If you were born and raised in New Jersey, it was either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.
You say the words "water", "coffee", "dog" and "whatever", like this "wawder", "cawfee", "dawg" and "wadever".
You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey - there's "The Shore,"
and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."
You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ....York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?)
You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"
You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City.."
You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different."
You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.
You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.
You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
And finally...
You've sure as hell never pumped your own gas.

I love to feel the wind in my hair, and the sand between my toes.
I know there's no place on earth quite like New Jersey.
And that no matter where life takes me, this will always be home.

No comments: